Revison

My feedback was mostly positive, but there were some things I needed to work on. My peers said the beginning of my essay could use some more information. The first and last paragraphs of my essay need a little work also. I needed to work on the hyperlinks and get them working and make them where people want to click on them and watch the videos.
For the revision of my essay I’ll need to do a few things. First I’ll work on getting the first and last paragraphs where they make sense to the body of the essay. I’ll do that by elaborating the paragraphs, because they’re kind of short and they don’t really tell what I’m going to talk about in my essay. I need to have a thesis that relates to the entire essay and I don’t think I have one that does that just yet so I’ll work on that part before Friday.
I need to work on the hyperlinks and making them more efficient. I’ll work on them being more appealing so people will want to click on them and watch the videos in the hyperlinks. I didn’t have a word or anything to know if you should click on it. It was just a link and no one really knew what it was. I’ll make the essay hyperlinks where I begin to talk about each song. I list the song and you’ll be able to click on it and watch the video before you learn why I like it and what the song means to me.
My peers also said that they would like to have seen more detail about the song and not just cut it off so suddenly at the end of the paragraph. So I’ll work on giving more detail in the overall paragraphs.
I’ll check the spelling and grammar on my essay and make sure it’s all correct. There wasn’t any spelling or grammar mistakes my peers found, but I’ll double check and see if I find any mistakes that they didn’t catch.
I might also add a few other songs that I’ve thought of since we wrote the essay. They are also pretty meaningful and I’d like those to be in there too. That shouldn’t take too long and since most of my paragraphs with the songs in it are the same thing I should be able to add them and do the changes I’ll do to the rest of my essay.
I’ll work on all those things today and tomorrow and once I do all those things to revise my paper it should be ready to turn in on Friday.